Coffee, Theology, and Jesus

working out our messy faith over coffee

A Double, Double Standard?

Heterosexual men are naturally attracted to breasts.

Hi, welcome to my blog.

Do I have your attention? Excellent. Are you offended? Well don’t read Song of Solomon, it’s much more explicit.

In this blog post I’ll doing my very best to walk a very thin line. In our hyper-sensitive culture it is important that I as a writer do my best to articulate what exactly I’m trying to say. Because this post is dealing with women, how they dress, culture’s lie to men, and men’s dishonor towards women I will do my best to write as clearly as I can. Considering however, that I’m a left handed drummer, I make no promises.

Back to my first four words.

If you’re a female you might be saying to yourself “well yes tim, I know that already”. But do you? Do you really? Allow me to explain myself.

As a man, regardless of my heart, my good intentions, and my willpower, there are still moments, split seconds where my mind puts thoughts in to my head that I simply can not control. It’s as impulsive as when your hand responds to touching something hot that you weren’t aware that was hot. Your body takes over and your hand instantly pulls away, there is no conscience thought. Your hand in a split second is off of that stove and there’s nothing you an do about it. The same thing is said for sexual thoughts that enter the mind of a man. There are times where either I’ll see something, or randomly an image of something sexual pops in to my head and only after that thought arrives do I have the option to entertain it or deny it. This shouldn’t be shocking, it’s how men are wired.

Let me just give the women out there a heads up, when you wear low cut shirts, short shorts, or tight fitting clothes that show the contours of your body, expect thoughts to pop in to the mind of a man. Now, before you stone me as blaming women for men’s problems let me say that it is on the man to entertain those split second thoughts or to deny them. Let me also say that to a degree there’s nothing anyone can do about preventing those random, uncontrolled thoughts. The blame is truly not on any one person, but what I am communicating to my female audience is that how you dress, act, the things you say, and how you present yourself all affect how men perceive you.

Why title my post a double, double standard? Because sometimes I feel like we want to have our cake and eat it too. We tell men don’t objectify women in one breath, while we as a culture support the objectification of women through medians like pornography or pop icons. The double standard happens when we tell men “shame on you for only wanting women for sex” while we whisper in to the woman’s ear “don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your body, do whatever you want with it. That sex sells, and if you have it, then flaunt it” What i’m communicating here is not a blame game. I’m simply communicating that it takes mutual responsibility on both men and women to treat each other with honor, love, and respect.

Women let me be blunt and direct here, when you post pictures of yourself with your chest hanging out as an attempt to be sexy, it tells men you want to be seen as a sex object. I’ve had girls ask me why guys just hit them up for sex while their facebook and Instagram is full of sexual innuendo and pictures to back it up. I’m reminded of the principle “You reap what you sow”. As is true in all of life, when you reap something, you’ll reap the benefits or consequences of it. You simply can’t expect to put yourself out there sexually on social media and then not be expected to be viewed through that lense.

Men, it is on us to control our mind and regardless of what we see, to treat women with dignity and honor. This to me is the root cause of so many problems in our culture. Men believe the lie that women are to be viewed purely through the lens of sex and nothing else. Every woman has a universe inside of her that goes way beyond the sexual. She has feelings, desires, and most importantly she is made in the image of God. When you deface that image you are defacing God’s creation. There is never, ever, EVER any excuse to cross the boundaries of a woman. Her heart is sacred and should be treated as such.

Let me sum this up in one paragraph

I’m so tired of blame games. I’m tired of genders calling each other out blaming each other for the problems we give each other. The change starts with you. Wether you’re a female, or a male there is a God given responsibility you have to treat each other as God made human beings. All of us are sacred, all of us are are made in the image of God and it is time that we start treating each other like it.

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1 Comment

  1. Hey there! I enjoyed and agree with the post, but please correct some grammatical errors then repost!

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